The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly -- 2011 Irwin Tools Night Race

This week, the Crappafoni Pictures crew is in Thunder Valley, aka Bristol, for this week's heaping helping of The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly, unofficially brought to you by Hamburger Helper. Have nothing to wash down that Hamburger Helper with? NO problem--there's PLENTY of Miller Lite! Enjoy! (Please drink responsibly. We don't want to hear of you getting popped for DUI.)

THE GOOD

Brad Keselowski: he gets the top spot this week. He had a solid qualifying run (he started 8th) and worked his way to the front. It was a gamble bringing his Nationwide crew chief to the Cup side to start the season. Kansas was where it all came together. Tonight's win established him as a LEGITIMATE threat to dethrone Jimmie Johnson. This was his second win in the last four races, and fourth consecutive top 3 finish. He'll sit in the Chase NO WORSE than third place. The Blue Deuce is clicking on all cylinders (no pun intended). Keselowski climbed to 11th in points, 20 points behind Tony Stewart. With another solid finish next week at Atlanta, he should clinch a Chase berth.

Martin Truex, Jr.: he FINALLY has a stout run--easily his best run of the season. His two-tire stop on the final pit stop was a huge gamble for track position, and he made it pay off. That took some serious stones on crew chief Chad Ochocinco Johnson's part, especially since two tires wasn't working up to that point. (Man, that Ochocinco's dude's everywhere!) On the restart he was leading, and eventually finished second, holding off Jeff Gordon on those two tires (Gordon took four tires, in contrast). Good job Martin!

Jeff Gordon: he led the most laps, and had a stout car throughout the race, but the #24 faded at the end. It was too much Blue Deuce more than the 24 itself. For awhile, it looked like he would win his third race of the season, and 85th of his career, but it was not to be. Gordon needs to finish 40th or better at Atlanta to clinch a Chase spot.

Jimmie Johnson: Vader and the 48 team are showing signs of life at the right time. Although he led only a handful of laps, he was in a position to pounce. He didn't outdrive the car and was rewarded with a fourth place finish and a berth in the Chase.

Jamie McMurray: it's been awhile since I've seen you in this neck of the woods. He led a handful of laps, and was in the top 10 for pretty much the whole race. Good job Jamie!

Honorable Mention: Matt Kenseth, Carl Edwards, Denny Hamlin, Ryan Newman, and Marcos Ambrose.

THE BAD

Robby Gordon: he drew the short stick at the start and parkers' meeting, held in the Todd Bodine Meeting Room. He ran a total of 10 laps before declaring himself done for the day and hotfooting it out of town with his earnings. Hey Robby, how come you ran faster when you DID hotfoot it out of town with your earnings than on the track?

Tony Stewart: Smoke was UNUSUALLY bad. Even though he has struggled at this track, that term took on a WHOLE NEW MEANING. He fought an ill-handling race car all evening. It was way too loose, then it got way too tight. The 14 team struggled with the balance of the car. The end result was a 28th place finish, three laps down. Fortunately for him, he is still in 10th place and miraculously still has a chance to clinch a Chase berth after Atlanta. That's because:

Clint Bowyer: he was just as bad as Stewart. Like Stewart, he fought an ill-handling race car. But through pit strategy, he actually finished two spots better than Stewart, finishing 26th. He STILL has a chance to make the Chase, albeit as a wild card, with a win at either Atlanta or Richmond. But with no contract extension with RCR, he may be looking elsewhere, like RPM. (I'm guessing that if he DOESN'T make the Chase, he's bolting after the season to RPM.)

Greg Biffle: he was ca-ca. He got popped more than once for speeding penalties on pit road, once during a round of green flag pit stops. He actually had a pretty solid qualifying run and was solid in all the practices leading up to the race. For the race itself, he finishes 31st, four laps down.

Kevin Harvick: another driver that wasted a pretty good qualifying run (he started 15th) with a bad race car. It was loose from the drop of the green flag to the drop of the checkers. No matter what the 29 crew did to try to tighten the car up, it was stuck on loose. Time to stop sniping at Kyle Busch and focus on what is wrong with this car and the setups, Happy. He last pitted with 130 laps to go and was just about to go a lap down when the final caution came out. He stayed out and took the wave around, putting him on the lead lap for the first time since early in the race. Alas, he got lapped AGAIN. IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK TO HAVE A CAR THAT'S AT LEAST COMPETITIVE AND CAN STAY ON THE LEAD LAP??? HMMMM? When you're outrun by Mike Bliss and David Starr at one point in the race, you have a (excuse my French) SHITTY car.  JUNK THAT PARTICULAR CAR YOU RAN TONIGHT!

THE UGLY

Greg Biffle: see above.

Those are my nominees for the race. Feel free to come in with yours.

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly -- 2011 Jeff Byrd 500

This week, the Crappafoni Pictures crew is in Thunder Valley at the Bullring, aka Bristol Motor Speedway for this week's serving of The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly, southern BBQ-style, and washed down with plenty of NOS Energy Drink. Enjoy!

THE GOOD

Kyle Busch: as the race winner, he gets first billing. He was dominant when he needed to be. He led the last 25 laps of the race in becoming the new master of Bristol, sweeping the NNS and Sprint Cup races. He becomes the fourth different winner of the season. Good job Kyle!

Carl Edwards: he won the pole and looked strong throughout the race, and for awhile it appeared he would get his second win this season, and fourth in the last six races. He gains a spot in the standings, going from third to second. An extra Good for running the fastest lap of the entire race.

Jimmie Johnson: he led the most laps in the race, and was in position to win his second consecutive spring race, but a bad final pit stop put him in the bottom half of the top 10. That bad stop cost him any chance to win. One small consolation, he's going home next week to Fontana, where he is dominant.

Matt Kenseth: he took a page out of Kevin Harvick's book as the field asked, "Where did HE come from?" Although he was in the top 15 for much of the race, he wasn't a factor until the end, when he came from seemingly nowhere to finish fourth. He never led, but the 17 crew made his car better as the race went on. Kudos to the crew for getting the job done.

Paul Menard: at the Chase, he finally began to show his potential as a driver, and had good results despite less than stellar equipment. Since joining RCR, he's finally starting to put it together with stellar equipment and getting good runs on a consistent basis. The Menard/Slugger Labbe pairing of driver and crew chief is really paying dividends this year. For the first time in his career, he LOOKED like a front-running driver. He led very early in the race and was in the top 10 for pretty much the whole race. He's currently carrying the banner for RCR at sixth place in the points standings. Good run Paul!

Kevin Harvick: he looked like he had a car that could contend for the win, as he was especially good on short runs, and Bristol always seems to have a late race caution to set up a short run. Happy wasn't so happy late in the race when he checked up to avoid a loose Kasey Kahne and Mark Martin plowed into his left rear quarter panel, spinning out Harvick. He restarted 17th and fought all the way back to finish sixth, just behind his teammate Paul Menard. He moves up five spots in the standings, from 20th to 15th. After a very slow start at Daytona, where he blew an engine early and finished 42nd, he's looking like the Happy of last season, when he was consistently ripping off top 5's and top 10's.

Honorable Mention: Kurt Busch, Kasey Kahne, Greg Biffle, and Ryan Newman. (ANOTHER top 10 in the Tornados Chevrolet for Newman!)

Honorable Mention #2: Jon Jones (UFC fighter)--he foiled a robbery several hours before his championship fight in UFC 127. This has nothing to do with NASCAR, but Mr. Jones deserves kudos for foiling a robbery. (It did have a chase, where Jones chased down the robber on foot and held him down until police arrived.)

THE BAD

Michael McDowell: he was the first to start and park, running 35 laps and declaring himself done for the day. He drew the short stick this week at the start and parkers' meeting in the Todd Bodine Meeting Room.

Jimmie Johnson's crew: they cost him a win, plain and simple, with that horrible final pit stop. Although Johnson made up a spot on the track, it wasn't enough. Give Kyle Busch a lead of that size and he'll take advantage of it. One of his crew members slipped on that final stop, costing him a few spots.

THE UGLY

Clint Bowyer: he must have felt like a ping-pong ball today, with him slapping the wall a couple of times. He was put out of his misery late in the race when his engine blew as a result of the nose of his car blocking the radiator and preventing air from getting in and cooling the engine.

Ol' DW: shillin' for Toyota again!!! DW, you seem like a good person at heart, and you're very likeable, but your shilling for Toyota is growing tiresome. I know your brother owns a couple of Cup teams and they run Toyotas, but enough already!

Those are my nominees for the race. Feel free to come in with yours!

NASCAR off-week

This weekend was the first NASCAR Sprint Cup Series off-week. So what did yours truly do in NASCAR's absence? Went to church and puttered around the house afterwards, bemoaning the fact that there was no Sprint Cup this weekend. There was a truck race yesterday but yours truly was very busy cleaning up the yard at the new house. (With much higher than normal rainfall weeds crop up all over the place!). Kasey Kahne, driving for Kyle Busch, won the Too Tough To Tame 200 at Darlington. Matt Crafton (whose hometown, Tulare, CA, is half an hour away from me) extended his points lead with a solid top 5 finish.

With no Nationwide Series or Cup Series, I got down and dirty yesterday, tackling weeds, draining out murky water from the koi pond in the back yard, and planting new flowers. There's nothing like tackling yard work on a sunny and cool day; you could be outside for hours on end and not complain about it. Despite all that was accomplished, not everything is finished. But it's getting closer. Needless to say, I was exhausted, but exhilarated at the same time. It was close to 5 pm when I called it a day and sat outside enjoying a beer or two. (I drink just enough to enjoy the beer without getting a buzz.) Dinner consisted of BBQ chicken breasts, mixed veggies, rice, and garlic bread. (Yummy!) The time change really screwed up my sleep pattern, though.

Today consisted of church in the morning. (I go to the first service--early bird gets the Word!) The associate pastor challenged us and exhorted us at the same time. Then I got some cupcakes at a nearby cupcake shop prior to returning home. I puttered around most of the day and squeezed in a nap as well.

Next week, the crew will be refreshed and ready to go from Bristol aka The Bullring. (Picture the Roman Colosseum on steroids and you have Bristol.) Ya think there will be some short tempers, especially with the new points system and EVERY point at a premium? I look for some guys to be called out, other guys to be called idiots, morons, etc., and the puntees into the wall to call the punters idiots, morons, etc. I'll even go out on a limb and predict the winner at Bristol: Juan Pablo Montoya. JPM gets his first NASCAR win on an oval at an unlikely venue by holding off a hard-charging Carl Edwards. (I may well be wrong, but I can dream. He won at Sonoma in 2007 and at the Glen last season.) While he's done well at Martinsville, he's not done well at Bristol, but this is where he changes his luck.

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly -- 2010 Irwin Tools 500

This week, the Crappafoni Pictures crew is in Thunder Valley for one of NASCAR's crown jewel races, the Bristol night race from the Bullring, for this week's The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly, complete with plenty of BBQ and washed down with plenty of NOS Energy Drink. Enjoy!

THE GOOD

Kyle Busch: as the race winner, he gets first billing. WOW. What a weekend! To say that he was awesome is an understatement. He won EVERY race in dominating fashion. He became the first driver to win all three of NASCAR's touring division races on the same weekend. That may well be the good of the year. And an extra good goes to Hanny for winning the Kylefecta! Regardless of whether or not you like Kyle, you have to admit he is an amazing talent. One year, he's going to be the first driver to win both the Cup and Nationwide championships in the same year. Busch has won three of the last four Bristol races.

David Reutimann: he led a number of laps, and hung out in the top 5 all race long. He was strong, but was racing for second, as it was all about Kyle.

Jamie McMurray: he had a strong car and it looked like he had something for Kyle. But on the last pit stop, he felt like the left front was flat and was not able to catch Kyle.

Clint Bowyer: he had a GREAT run at the most crucial time. He was on the Chase bubble and came through with a solid fourth place finish. Even more important, he's 100 points ahead of 13th place, so he has a bit of breathing room.

Kasey Kahne: a very strong run by the #9 Ford. He was in the top 10 for much of the race. Unfortunately, it was too little too late, as his chances of making the Chase got dimmer.

Jimmie Johnson: he was stout at the beginning, and it looked like he was going to run away with the race if not for JPM spinning him out. He was the best car in the first half of the race.

Honorable Mention: Ryan Newman, Dale Earnhardt Jr, Jeff Gordon, Kurt Busch, Juan Pablo Montoya, and Greg Biffle.

THE BAD

Michael McDowell: he ran a grand total of 16 laps before declaring himself done for the day. NASCAR stated it was due to an "engine". But in reality, he drew the short stick at the Start and Parkers meeting held in the Todd Bodine Meeting Room before the race.

Jamie McMurray's crew: they certainly did him no favors by making small mistakes on EACH pit stop, causing him to lose positions on each stop. A sub-Good to Jamie for making up positions on the track. If they were HALF as good as Kyle Busch's crew, Jamie Mac would be celebrating in Victory Lane with his crew.

Juan Pablo Montoya: I've gotta call him out for turning Jimmie Johnson when there was room for JPM to check up and let Johnson go. But from JPM's perspective, perhaps there was some bad blood from a previous race and he decided to take matters into his own hands.

ESPN's coverage: TOO MANY DAMN COMMERCIALS! Enough said.

THE UGLY

ESPN: I'm already longing for DW and Company's coverage next season! Yeah, DW may be a bit bombastic, but he has a certain charm to him. Rusty's got the charm of a pissed-off rattlesnake.

Those are my nominees for the race. Feel free to chime in!

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly -- 2010 Food City 500

This week, after a week's rest due to the break, the Crappafoni Pictures crew presents to you, BBQ-style, this week's version of The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly. Enjoy!

THE GOOD

Jimmie Johnson: as the winner of the race, he gets first billing. When he topped all the practice sessions, and qualified well, everyone else was in for a LONG weekend. Once again, Chad Knaus proves his genius when he calls for a four tire change on the very last pit stop and gets Johnson out quickly. This was Johnson's first win at Bristol, leaving three tracks that he hasn't won at (Infineon, the Glen, and Homestead). If not for Johnson's 39th place finish at Daytona, he'd be running away with the points lead.

Tony Stewart: Smoke very nearly made two tires work, taking the lead before losing the lead to Johnson with seven laps to go. He was able to hold off Kurt Busch, who also took four tires on the last pit stop.

Kurt Busch: he led the most laps, but wasn't able to pass Stewart and make a charge at Johnson. He was in the top 5 for pretty much the whole race.

The Three Roushkateers: Greg Biffle (4th), Matt Kenseth (5th), and Carl Edwards (6th) became factors later in the race. For a time, it looked like The Biff was going to take the checkered flag. (Secret: I've been waiting for them to finish in consecutive places so I can call them the Three Roushkateers.) An extra Good goes to Kenseth for taking the points lead from Kevin Harvick. (And it KILLS me to say that.)

Dale Earnhardt Jr: here's hoping he uses this race to get momentum for the remainder of the season leading up to the Chase. He's in that top 12 now, and he has a 70% chance of making the Chase. He led a few laps en route to a seventh place finish.

Kyle Busch: he overcame a hard smack into the wall and tire issues for a top 10 finish. (Busch finished 8th.)

HONORABLE MENTION

Jamie McMurray: Cupcake overcame noxious fumes and flu-like symptoms to finish seventh.

Jeff Burton: he posted the best finish by an RCR driver, 10th.

Kevin Harvick: he overcame a poor qualifying effort and slow practices to finish 11th.

THE BAD

Joe Nemechek: he drew the short stick today and was the first driver to start and park. He's not even Field Filler Joe at this point. At least a field filler gives an honest day's effort and runs every lap he can. He ran 30 laps before he called himself done for the day.

Prism Motorsports: I'm going to have to call them out, particularly Dave Blaney, who had a GREAT qualifying run. Blaney qualified third and was the second driver to start and park after 40 laps. Michael Waltrip started and parked after 46 laps. If you're going to be an S/P team like you are now, then run every race. If you're serious about being in Cup as you say you are, then run a part-time schedule like the Wood Brothers, who are STILL competitive in the races they DO enter. You have a competent enough driver in Blaney that can be competitive.

THE UGLY

Clint Bowyer: he had a tough week. First his team, the Kansas Jayhawks, got knocked out of the Big Dance. Then today he blows an engine 56 laps in. (Note to potential S/P teams: run AT LEAST 100 laps; you never know if a former Chaser like Bowyer could blow an engine like he did today.)

The Little Big One: this happened on Lap 342 and involved 13 cars, among them points leader Kevin Harvick. Fortunately, the 29 car only suffered cosmetic damage and the 29 car's handling wasn't affected.

Those are my nominees for the race. Feel free to come in with yours.

Gas and Go--Bristol (Spring Race 2010)

This week's Gas and Go comes from the Bull Ring, aka Bristol.. I will give some insights and short takes leading up to the race and give you my predicted winner.

1. More than a few drivers will be skittish going into this race, especially those fighting for that magical 35th spot in the standings.
2. Boris Said is in 35th, but three other drivers are within five points: Robby Gordon (-3, in 36th); David Gilliland (-4, in 37th), and Max Papis (-5, in 38th). I look for Said to struggle and drop out of the top 35, Gilliland to run strong and finish the race in the top 35, and Papis to stay where he's at. As for Gordon, meh.
3. For those drivers that will be in the top 12 after Bristol, they stand a better than even chance of making the Chase. For the drivers just outside the top 12, they need to have a strong run at Bristol to put themselves in position to make their move prior to the Chase.
4. The Bullring has PLENTY of drama and PLENTY of opportunities to slip up. A wreck or mechanical issue will put a driver multiple laps down with no chance of making up ground. At that point, just hold your position and hope you gain a few positions through attrition.
5. With the narrower track due to the SAFER barrier, a driver has to be more patient than normal.
6. Thinking of you: Sterling Marlin.
7. Look for the usual suspects to run up front: the Busch Brothers, Denny Hamlin, Jeff Gordon, the RCR drivers, Greg Biffle, Matt Kenseth.
8. Amazingly, this track isn't one of Jimmie Johnson's better ones, despite finishing in the top 5 in his last Bristol start last summer.

Predicted Winner: Jeff Burton. Burton breaks RCR's long winless streak and goes into Victory Lane. (Ironically, Burton got RCR's last win, October 2008, in Charlotte.)

Predicted rest of Top 5: 2) Kevin Harvick; 3) Kyle Busch; 4) Denny Hamlin; 5) Greg Biffle.

Darkhorse top ten driver: Marcos Ambrose (he's long overdue).

Gas and Go--Bristol (Summer Race 2009)

This is the second Bristol Gas and Go. As with the first, I will offer my insights and short takes on this race from the Bullring.

1. The night race is what every fan looks forward to. One hundred sixty thousand fans packed into a cavernous bullring. Thunder Valley lives up to its name. Every year, with the exception of this one, the race is sold out MONTHS in advance.
2. With its unique stadium setting and .533 mile oval, there is very little, if any, room at Bristol. An unscheduled green flag pit stop will put a driver at least three laps down, if not more.
3. Tempers get short, as evidenced by a memorable dust-up between Matt Kenseth and Jeff Gordon a few years ago after a spring race.
4. One of the most memorable moments in this race came in 1995, when Terry Labonte took the checkered flag going sideways. This came as a result of contact with Dale Earnhardt on the final turn of the race. Ironically, Labonte going sideways kept Earnhardt from taking the checkered flag.
5. Another very memorable moment involved the same drivers four years later. Labonte was on his way to another win when he was punted by Earnhardt going into Turn 3. Earnhardt took the checkered flag to lusty boos and hisses. Earnhardt's response? "I was just trying to rattle his cage." Classic.
6. Handling is at a premium. If the car is well balanced and the crew hits on the setup, the driver could have a great showing. Consequently, one can have a great car and also get caught in someone's mishap.
7. Thinking of you: Darrell Waltrip. (The all-time leading winner at Bristol, with 12 wins, including an amazing seven in a row.)
8. Look for the usual suspects to run well: Kurt and Kyle Busch, Jeff Gordon, Jimmie Johnson, Tony Stewart, Kevin Harvick, Matt Kenseth, Carl Edwards, and Clint Bowyer.
9. Kurt Busch and Jeff Gordon share the most wins by an active driver with five each.
10. My dark horse to run well here: Casey Mears. RCR cars have historically run well at Bristol. Mears will be no exception. Which brings me to my predicted race winner.

Predicted Race Winner: Clint Bowyer. Although Bowyer has never won at Bristol, he has always ran well there. He's been running very well over the last month or so. Plus he's making a strong late push for the Chase. I'm going to go with a bit of an upset with Bowyer winding up in Victory Lane.

Special thanks go out to www.bristolmotorspeedway.com for additional information cited in Gas and Go.