The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly -- 2011 Tums Fast Relief 500

This week, the Crappafoni Pictures crew is in southern Virginia to bring you this week's heaping helping of The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly, served with PLENTY of Martinsville Hot Dogs, and washed down with copious amounts of Coca-Cola. Enjoy!

THE GOOD

Tony Stewart: he wasn't very good at the start of the race; in fact he was fighting tooth and nail with Denny Hamlin to keep from being lapped when a caution came out. But through a series of pit stops to gain track position and some great pit stops late in the race, he was able to hold off Jimmie Johnson. With the win, he moves to second in the standings, 8 points behind Carl Edwards. Chance to win the championship: VERY GOOD.

Jimmie Johnson: he held the lead on the final restart but was not able to hold off Stewart. He was strong throughout the race, and was pretty much in the top 10 the entire race. Johnson is still 43 points behind Edwards with three races left. He's still mathematically in this, but he's going to need stout runs while the five drivers above him struggle. Chance to win the championship: ALMOST NIL.

Jeff Gordon: like Johnson, he was stout throughout the race. He had a winning car early, but tapered off later in the race when he was in dirty air. He's still 76 points behind leader Edwards. Chance to win the championship: NONE, he's done.

Kevin Harvick: he didn't have a good car early, but props to the 29 crew for making the car better as the race went on. Props also for taking two left-side tires late in the race to get track position and to lead laps. He did a good job of leading for several laps, but got freight trained. He did a good job in gaining a couple of positions in that run. He was able to escape the late race melees to finish fourth and gain five points and two positions in the standings. Chance to win the championship: GOOD, but needs help.

Denny Hamlin: for much of the race, he looked like the Hamlin that dominated Martinsville. He was shuffled back late in the race, but managed to avoid trouble and finish a solid fifth. Chance to win the championship: NONE, he's done. He's almost two races behind with three to go.

Carl Edwards: he's gotta get his props. He battled back from a lap down, was fighting an ill-handling race car all race long, but managed to stay out of trouble. His ninth place finish was huge, as he was able to maintain the points lead going into tracks where he's been historically stout at. A bad finish, and his chances to win the title would have diminished drastically. Chance to win the title: EXCELLENT.

Honorable Mention: Jeff Burton, Dale Earnhardt Jr, Martin Truex Jr, and Ryan Newman.

THE BAD

ESPN: the constant lovefest with Edwards was sickening. Not even an interview with Kevin Harvick after the race! Some excuse to do SportsCenter or something like that. SHEESH!

THE UGLY

ESPN: see above.

Those are my nominees for the week. Feel free to come in with yours. Last, but not least, my condolences to the Wallace family on the loss of patriarch Russ, who passed away at the age of 77.

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly -- 2011 Goody's Fast Relief 500

This week, the Crappafoni Pictures crew is in southern Virginia for this week's The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly, served up with a Martinsville Hot Dog (or as many as your heart desires) and washed down with PLENTY of Budweiser! (But be sure to have a designated driver beforehand!) Enjoy!

THE GOOD

Kevin Harvick: he snags this spot as this week's race winner. He qualified ninth but fell backwards early. Not until about halfway into the race did he start coming to the front. He was 17th at the red flag on Lap 226. From that point on, he started moving to the front, benefitted by a very long green flag run in which he led a lap, then two very quick cautions that allowed him to take the wave around and pit again. The pit strategy proved to be very beneficial, as on the penultimate pit stop he took two tires and moved towards the front, then on the final stop, he went with four tires and came out third. (He subsequently moved to second when Jimmie Johnson was busted for speeding entering pit road.) After a slow restart in which he was shuffled to fourth, Happy made his move. He passed Dale Earnhardt Jr for the lead with five laps to go and was able to pull away for his second consecutive win. With the win (his first in Cup at Martinsville), he moves to sixth in the points, and now has won in all three NASCAR divisions at Martinsville. Somehow that blown engine at Daytona now seems like years ago. Could Harvick make it three in a row at Texas on Saturday night? He runs very well there. We shall see. Great job Happy!!

Dale Earnhardt Jr: he may have thought he didn't have a great car. He was strong all day. He was in the top 15 for pretty much the whole race. And his pit crew was on top of its game, as Jr often gained spots on pit road. For awhile it looked like he was going to win, as he passed Kyle Busch late. But he knew the 29 was gaining 0.5 seconds a lap. He made one bobble too many and Harvick took advantage of it. Seeing the 29 right behind you late in the race WILL cause a driver to bobble. Ask Jimmie Johnson. That win is coming sooner rather than later, as the 88 team is running very well. Jr is now eighth in the points.

Kyle Busch: he led the most laps but faded late. IMO he used up all his equipment earlier and had nothing left at the end. He can win, he knows how to win, and a win is coming soon.

Juan Pablo Montoya: although he never led a lap, he was strong at the Big Paper Clip again, with another top 5 finish. He was in the top 10 for much of the race, and that fourth place finish is what this team needed. He stays in seventh place in the points.

Jeff Gordon: he checked out when he was leading, and was strong on long runs. But he struggled on restarts and short runs. Still, he merits a place here because he was strong overall, leading 37 laps en route to a fifth place finish.

Clint Bowyer: Harvick's RCR teammate led 91 laps and got plenty of face time for BB&T. However he faded very late, and held on for a top 10 finish.

Jamie McMurray: he won the pole in Saturday morning qualifying and led 31 laps. He faded for awhile, but rallied for a solid top 10 finish.

Honorable Mention: Matt Kenseth, David Ragan, and Mark Martin.

THE BAD

Joe Nemechek: he was the first start and parker. He had the misfortune to draw the short stick at the prerace start and parkers meeting in the Todd Bodine Meeting Room. He declared himself done after 25 laps.

Tony Stewart: he uncharacteristically struggled today. Even though it's well-known he starts the season slow and picks up, he's usually in the top 25 at the end of a race. If it wasn't pit road penalties, it was something else. Smoke was even caught up in a wreck. He limped home in 34th, nearly 40 laps down. (Smoke, it's not often that I put you here, but I must today.)

THE UGLY

Dave Blaney: is he STILL causing an accident? He DID have a car that WAS competitive, and even after his first two accidents was still on the lead lap. The third accident doomed his chances of a strong finish. He did finish, but was 14 laps down at the end. And this relates to:

Tires: there were issues with the tires DURING the race. Blaney had three different incidents, and several other drivers cut tires and had to pit during green flag runs.

Martin Truex Jr/Kasey Kahne: these two were involved in a horrific crash on Lap 223 when Truex cut a tire and his throttle stuck. Kahne was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Truex hit the wall HARD and if it hadn't been for Kahne being a cushion, Truex would have hit the wall a second time. No matter what Truex tried to do to avoid Kahne, he couldn't. Truex even hit the kill switch on the #56 Toyota but THAT didn't work. Glad that both drivers are fine and will race again next week. A sub-Good to NASCAR for their improvements in safety.

Those are my nominees for the race. Feel free to chime in!

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly -- 2010 Tums Fast Relief 500

This week, the Crappafoni Pictures crew is doing a rapid-fire The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly, in honor of NASCAR's shortest track. Plenty of Martinsville Hot Dogs were consumed, washed down with lots of Coke. Enjoy!

THE GOOD

Denny Hamlin: he won the race. Best car at the end. Cuts points lead to six in arrears. Popular win at M'ville.

Mark Martin: where did he come from? Great rally by the Old Man. Still very competitive.

Kevin Harvick: best career finish at the Big Paper Clip. Also gained some points going into Talladega. Great rally from 36th starting position!

Kyle Busch: another superb rally from deep in the field. Ran a smart race. Avoided brake issues. Was good on long runs.

Jimmie Johnson: always runs well at the Big Paper Clip. But he did have his points lead over Hamlin and Harvick cut.

Dale Earnhardt Jr: used sound strategy in staying out during a caution to get track position. Led at one point in the race, making Jr Nation very happy. Faded a bit at the end, but was still strong.

Jeff Burton: led the most laps and got the additional five bonus points.

Honorable Mention: Joey Logano, Carl Edwards, Jeff Burton, Brad Keselowski.

THE BAD

Greg Biffle: had all kinds of issues. Stick a fork in him, he's done.

Sam Hornish Jr: tete-a-tete with Scott Speed sent Regan Smith behind the wall when Smith was punted into the wall. It was a blatant punt of Speed. Hornish should have been parked for the rest of the race.

Jeff Burton: gotta put him in here because so many drivers were complaining that he was brake checking on restarts. NASCAR warned him on that. Later he and teammate Kevin Harvick had a brush-up on track. Should make for an interesting drivers' meeting at the RCR camp this week.

THE UGLY

Tire issues: there were a multitude of drivers that cut tires in the last few laps of the race. The last run was the longest of the race, and it was nearly 100 degrees on the track.

That's it from Martinsville. See you all at Talladega!

Gas and Go--Martinsville (Spring Race 2010)

This week's Gas and Go comes from the Big Paper Clip known as Martinsville. I will offer short insights and takes into the race, and give you my predicted winner and dark horse top 10 finisher.

1. Jimmie Johnson is the Master of Martinsville. Of his 16 starts at the Big Paper Clip, all but one start has resulted in at least a top 10 finish. Five of his last seven starts there have resulted in wins.
2. Jeff Gordon shouldn't be overlooked, either. He and Johnson have combined for 13 of HMS' 18 wins at the track. HMS is second to Petty Enterprises in all-time wins at the track. One more win by an HMS driver would tie them with Petty Enterprises.
3. Meanwhile, Denny Hamlin is waving his arms frantically, shouting, "WHAT ABOUT ME? I'M NOT CHOPPED LIVER HERE!" And he isn't: Hamlin is the only driver that has withstood the Johnson Juggernaut at this track, accounting for the other two wins in those last seven races.
4. Thinking of you: Ward Burton.
5. Look for the usual suspects to run up front: Johnson, Gordon, Hamlin, Matt Kenseth, Carl Edwards, and Juan Pablo Montoya.
6. To win at Martinsville, it is best that a driver start within the first two rows historically, but in the last 12 races, six have won from a starting position outside the top 10.
7. If you have a good handling car that is well-balanced, you'll do well. Consequently, if your car is crappy, it's going to be a LONG LONG day.

Predicted Race Winner: Jimmie Johnson. He wins in dominating fashion and takes the points lead from Kevin Harvick. The rest of the top 5: 2) J. Gordon; 3) Montoya; 4)Edwards; 5) Hamlin. (Where's Harvick? He finishes 10th, but loses the points lead.)

Dark Horse top 10 finisher: Marcos Ambrose. He's due for some good racing luck.

Gas and Go--Martinsville (Chase Race 2009)

This week's Gas and Go comes from the Big Paper Clip known as Martinsville.

1. This week's race begins the homestretch of the Chase, and the season. The end is in sight.
2. Until yesterday, qualifying had been rained out in the last two visits to the track.
3. Kurt Busch came from the farthest back in the field (36th) to win in October, 2002.
4. Jimmie Johnson has won five of the last six races at Martinsville, an unprecedented domination over a three-year period. (It's hard enough to win ONE race, let alone 5 of 6 over a 3-year period at the same track.) Simply put, he's made this track his b****. It doesn't matter whether he starts from the pole or way back in the field, the #48 has what it takes to win.
5. The only other driver that even approaches Johnson is his teammate and mentor, Jeff Gordon. Gordon has seven career wins at Martinsville, the first coming on 9/22/96, at the Hanes 500. Gordon started from the 10th position en route to the win.
6. Johnson's first win at Martinsville came in October 2004, at the Subway 500.
7. Thinking of you: Cale Yarborough (Four wins in a five-race span from 1976-78).
8. Look for the usual suspects to run well: Johnson, Gordon, Mark Martin, JPM, Kurt Busch, Tony Stewart, with a dark horse in David Reutimann.

Predicted Race Winner: Jimmie Johnson. JJ continues his mastery at Martinsville and all but clinches his fourth consecutive championship.